what's that swoosh sound coming out of North London

Where are my manners. My first blog should have started with me thanking waweru wa mwaura for allowing me to contribute to his site. I guess he was tired of my daily arsenal text rants every morning at 8 am and figured he would be spared them if he let me blog. Wrong... The only thing that will quiet me is if the Emirates delivers glory, and that quiet time will last only as long as it takes me to get over the subsequent hangover...not very long.

You can measure noise in primarily two units of measure; sound power if you use a reverbertory chamber or sound pressure if it is an anechoic chamber. If, let me correct myself, when Cesc's move to Barcelona is announced, the noise that will emanate from North London and the arsenal world over will be immeasurable in either units. We will need a new unit of measure to properly document the event. I propose a new unit of measure named an "arsene".

To allow relative measurement, we will need to estimate the amount of noise that would comprise of an 'arsene' before the cesc move occurs. Failure to do so risks us branding the total noise caused by Cesc's move to Barcelona one sound arsene, thereby guaranteeing any other such event being a fraction of an arsene. We all know its hard enough to count in whole numbers, we don't need fractions.

I am therefore going to suggest that we assign one sound arsene to the total amount of noise that resulted from Terry's slip and penalty miss that cost Chelsea a champions league trophy. That being said, this whole Cesc saga reminds me of presidential candidate Ross Perot's warning to America about ratifying NAFTA. He warned that if the US signed the deal, the accompanying swoosh sound will be the sound of jobs leaving the country. Boy was he right. So monsieur Wenger, when you do accept that check from Camp Nou for our beloved magician, the resulting 3 arsene sound heard will be the entire integrity of Arsenal heading for the hills. We will truly have become Arsenal Financial club, not Football club, just like they taught you in Economics class.