Flappy Fabianski

A picture is worth a thousand words. Ewood park, May 3rd 2010, Arsenal keeper Fabianski sits inside his goal with his legs criss crossed apple sauce, after being muscled into letting in Blackburn’s winning goal. Next to him is the most precious piece of leather occupying what has now become it’s familiar location for Arsenal fans. Imagine that. He sits there, a grown man, playing in a competitive sport. A physically competitive sport I say, am not talking golf, yet he sits there criss crossed like a little … you can finish the sentence.

On his face, Fabianski wears bemusement like Ochio Cinco in a ‘hot pink’mink coat. Picture a child that has been told Santa Claus aka Father Christmas is not real. That was Fabianski's look of disbelief. On the sidelines, Big Sam shows controlled elation at his tactics, his counterpart Mr. Wenger customarily thrusts forward both hands at the referee in complaint. On the pitch there is visibly no eye contact from Fabianski’s teammates to him, the look of despair is a euphemistic observation of the Arsenal players.

A great deal was at stake here as victory would have clinched the 3rd champions league spot for Arsenal, frog leaping the qualification stage straight to group stages. The plot thickened further given that Arsenal faced the unthinkable prospect of losing third Champions league spot to
their arch rivals tottenham, after having already lost the head to head game at white hart lane 3 weeks earlier. On that occasion, his senior Alumnia managed a 2 inch vertical in an attempt to keep out what has turned out to be the EPL goal of the season. A handicapped keeper would have done better, but I digress.

You have to watch the video closely to truly understand the nature of the man Wenger employed to be our last line of defense. Before I get too hard on Fabianski, let me get hard on him. Part of being a professional competitor is to study your opponent. Big Sam was singing “Ring de alarm” all prior week as to how he was going to rough up the squeaky clean boys from
North London. Perhaps Wenger advised his players to beware of strong arm tactics, maybe he didn’t. As a professional, you earn your money by being prepared for every situation no matter what. (For definition of professional, see Ryan Giggs)

Fabianski would have had my respect if in the process of being bullied to conceding the goal, he had broken several teeth, broken as many ribs, punched into a coma, buried his cleets into any or several or even all of those fouling Blackburn players. As an Arsenal fan, I would have wore the loss with pride, and bragged to other teams to “send dem come” if you want to see some “bloodclot” bleeding up in this place. But he sat, inside the territory he was supposed to protect, legs criss crossed apple sauce, and nowhere in the battle zone in front of him was a sign of a struggle. None, not even one bleeding gunner.

Where Van Gundy dangled precariously on Alonzo Mouning's ankle, no Arsenal player dared to get dirty when they had to. Where Henry saw the necessity to palm the ball twice and cross for Gallas to score their way to the world cup, 7 arsenal defenders not counting Fabianski were outmuscled by two, Samba & Dunn (Roberts does not count). I have the proof, see below.



And you ask why I am a frustrated Arsenal fan? Just look at this mess. A picture is worth a thousand words.

RANDOM break from Arse/ne/nal talk

Now that the European football seasons are over,it has come as a blessing in disguise for the Kenyan league. They started a floodlight-midweek game that is catching on as the new weekday chill out spot at Nyayo stadium. Numbers have risen considerably and I bet by the end of the year local football will be able to get extra streams of income from increased gate collections,sale of jerseys...all that and a bag of chips.
The fact that Kenya now has two citizens in the UCL has also helped to take the sport to the next level,if only the bungling officials can get their act right,more players will have a chance at the big leagues.

At an even deeper local level,Mwimuto Wailers FC from Kabete/Kikuyu constituency is making strides in engaging the youth in sports and helping in community projects. Under the sponsorship of local residents,they have been able to attain an unofficial academy status because they have engaged all age-groups and been able to register them in all relevant competitions eg Safaricom Sakata Ball and Copa Coca Cola.
Follow them here and any feedback in any-form is appreciated
http://www.facebook.com/ngugik#!/group.php?gid=316578446957&ref=ts

On the Other Hand. Listen to Wildfire by Tarrus Riley on the Major and Minor Riddim. Might be the riddim of the year in my own humble opinion

Kris Boyd

As another frustrated arsenal fan, I'm beginning to wonder if Wenger is gonna sign another player. The world cup is a few weeks away and so far nothing constructive has happened at Arsenal whilst other big clubs are making their moves. Sadly it looks like our inspirational captain cesc is on his way out and all i know is the money we get from him will most probably be used to renovate highbury square or the VIP lounges! To my point, its time to make a move wenger and Rangers striker Kris Boyd is avail on a free transfer, the all time Spl leading scorer. I think a bentner switch for boyd would make our attacking options more lethal than Lethal weapon 3! Since we have Chamahk now who's aerial prowess is good a camel footed bentner is unnecessary What you all think?

Will Mour Cool the ever Real Hotseat?

The magic number today is 24. That's the number of managers that have occupied the Managerial seat at the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium since Sir Alex Ferguson took the respective seat at Old Trafford. 16 since Wenger took over at Arsenal. This is including the two Don Fabio spells.

So why is Mour's accession to the Galacticos throne inevitable?

To have conquered Portuguese, English and Italian football in so short a time indicates a mighty talent, and now Spain beckons. José Mário dos Santos Félix Mourinho is expectedly set to join Real Madrid. His club football track record has been exceptional. The Portuguese tactician has won six league titles and two Champions League crowns in the 10 years he has been a manager. His brilliant planning and organization, as well as an inspirational quality has prompted Real President Florentino Pérez to run straight to his doorstep. Massimo Moratti, the Internazionale president, has all but accepted defeat in his attempts to keep José Mourinho at San Siro. Mourinho is contracted to the Nerazzurri until June 2012 but can exercise a clause in his deal to depart this summer.

"I want to become the only coach to win the Champions League with three different clubs. I'm not leaving Inter, I'm leaving Italy," Mourinho said after Inter's 2-0 victory over Bayern Munich. "The Champions League I won at Porto was my last game there and this time it will almost certainly be my last game for Inter," he added. He has given his clubs what they craved and will now have the chance to manage Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaká.

Love him or hate him, Jose has managed to prolong his 15 minutes. He can put his money where his mouth is. Some Inter fans are upset with him for the timing of his comments wishing to leave amidst their stunning treble success and feel he has stolen the limelight from the team. So will he Cool the ever Real Hotseat? Is he going to slowdown the managerial revolving door? Only time will tell. But my money is on 'the special one'......but what do I know, I'm just a frustrated Arsenal fan.

Is it Chamakh or "Sham-Work" by Wenger

You may already have noticed from my posts that I am not a wengerite. I watched the 2008 FA cup semi-final against chelsea, I watched Eboue go crazy at white hart lane with no retribution, and also watched Denilson still keep his place in the second half at liverpool this past season. I cannot be a wengerite.

Let's talk "sham".... I mean Chamakh. Don't get me wrong, Chamakh will get his goals. Everybody does at Arsenal, even the novice would with the chances we create. But here is where I depart with the cheerful majority.
Wenger had the chance to sign him for the past season but opted to roll the dice and we paid for it dearly. Chamakh was the signing we needed in the last campaign. Correction, any extra striker that can play alone was what we needed.

What does Wenger do? He mortgages another year of his players lives in his rigid ploy to prove himself to everyone. But is Chamakh what we need? I think not and this is why. If you watched Inter in their win against Bayern, was there any moment where there was less than 6 Inter players defending in the box. Just once, and that was the start of the second half and it almost cost them. Mourniho will never push all players forward. Infact, the reason Sully Muntari was on the bench is he pushed forward in an earlier game against Jose's direction. Straight bench, Jose don't play.

Wenger on the other hand encourages all players to push forward. Am fine with that. It just means we will always be thin at the back and Wenger adds a little sweetener to the defensive dilemma by employing blondimunia and flappyianski. This means that Arsenal, like Barca will always concede goals. But Arsenal unlike Barca is not successful because we do not have the firepower upfront to finish off games like we did during the TH14 days.

So how is Chamakh a solution to this problem at Arsenal? He is not. Someone convince me that Chamakh faced with the same opportunity as Inter's Diego Milito for the second goal, would have turned the defender out and scored? Bendtner has never gone past a defender. Who will do Milito's work for Arsenal and who will do that work when our Milito is injured, whoever he is? We need a game changer upfront, one that can grab the game by its privates and shake it in Arsenal's favor. But what do I know, I am just a frustrated arsenal fan.

Why HE will never spend big(or prove me wrong this summer)

For a long time AW has been frugal in the market while maintaining a fringe position of staying in all competitions, imagine if one day he wakes up and breaks bank.
These are the repercussions :If he ends up winning a championship,he will be so dissapointed at winning it against his own frugal principals.

On the Other Hand I don't think he will ever give his detractors the satisfaction of,"see I told you you could win something if you actually spend."

Oh,and apparently some Italian and German Club opted to ignore and kick out other clubs to continue playing the UCL by themselves until one of them wins.

Macca Redeemed

The minute the FA appointed Steve McLaren for the England Job, he was under the microscope. He had been on the FA payroll for the last five years but had only worked on a part-time basis around matches and never from the FA's Soho Square headquarters. I felt a bit sorry for Mclaren. I think poor Steve was doomed from the start. He was tainted by having worked with Sven for so long, and it is widely known that he was not first choice for the position. After the debacle over Luiz Felipe Scolari, the nature of his appointment earned him the nickname "Second Choice Steve"

McClaren assumed control of the national team on 1 August 2006. The media did not give him any time to develop a team. He hired public relations guru Max Clifford to manage his relationship with the media. Following England's defeat to Portugal in the quarter-finals he took a two-week break in Mauritius during which he admitted to growing impatient at the prospect of becoming national coach. They hounded, questioned and undermined every decision that he made as manager. For him to keep his job, there were unrealistic targets that he had to achieve. He could not ever lose a game, and those he won would have had to be utterly convining 6 nils.

No one doubts that Macca is a good manager. But he's known for his role as second fiddle role rather than the man who took Boro to UEFA Cup Final. Who can forget that 2005-2006 season where they were losing on aggregate in the second legs of both the quarter and semi-final ties against FC Basel and FC Steaua Bucureşti respectively. After McClaren substituted defenders with attackers Boro produced two spectacular four goal comebacks in both ties to reach the final. Steve McClaren's final game in charge at Middlesbrough before he took over as England coach ended in misery as Sevilla deservedly won the Uefa Cup.

The qualifying rounds for the 2008 Euro Tourney was going to be his first and final test. The results of other matches in England's qualification group meant that England would qualify if undefeated in their final group match against Croatia. The match was played at Wembley on 21 November 2007 and England lost 3–2; coupled with Russia's victory over Andorra, this meant that England would not be at Euro 2008. It was the first time in 14 years that England had not qualified for a major tournament, and the first time in 24 years that they had not qualified for the European Championships.

McClaren was removed from the post of England coach along with his assistant manager Terry Venables. McClaren's tenure was the shortest of any England manager to date, spanning just 18 games in 16 months. On 14 December 2007, it was announced his post had been taken up by Fabio Capello commencing from 7 January 2008.

REDEMPTION

Steve McClaren made a surprise return to football in the Netherlands with FC Twente in 2008. In 2009, McClaren gave Twente a second good start to a season, even taking the team to the top of the league during October. Twente stayed top throughout November and December. In October 2009, McClaren signed a one-year contract extension with Twente. in 2010 Twente withstood immense pressure from Martin Jol's Ajax (Yup, the Jol fron the Lane) during the second half of the season and trumped the Amsterdam side by one point difference on the last day of the league to claim the title.

Earlier this month McClaren left the Dutch champions to take over as manager of Bundesliga side Wolfsburg; he is the first Englishman to manage a German football club.
Hats off Macca. You have totally redeemed yourself.

Diego Ribas da Cuhna; Cesc's replacement

Cesc will return to Barcelona, it is inevitable. Who out there can attempt to fill his shoes right away? I feel it is Diego, the man that should have been playing side by side with Cesc if Wenger had the balls to play ball. Vision, Diego has in abundance. Pace, better than Cesc. He is also a dead ball specialist and scored 38 goals in 84 appearances for Werder Bremen. He has champions league experience scoring some great goals. He is only 25 yrs, has played for brazil even though he is 100% Italian.

Why is Arsenal a good fit for him? Diego thrives on movement, the quick one two's that are a signature of Wenger's style. Diego is rotting in Juventus, a team whose style does not fit him. Juve's game lacks pace and the offense is centered around Del Piero who is in the twilight of his great career. Diego will give arsenal pace in the creative mid position, and more importantly, his dead ball abilities will give Arsenal a new avenue for goals. Currently, our team won't shoot from distance, will not score from corner kicks and has even abandoned the counter attack that the great arsenal teams were known for.

Latest news from Juve suggest Diego is on his way to Athletico Madrid in exchange for former gunner Jose Reyes. Yes, the Reyes that was run out of the EPL by that nasty Gary Neville foul that was totally ignored by the Referee. Imagine the stupidity of that deal. What will Reyes do better than Diego? If Wenger pulled off this deal for Diego, I assure arsenal fans that the samba will get a North London remix....featuring Rihanna and Eboue. But I am just a stupid fan and Wenger is a god so what do I know.

Musically Speaking.

Probably Alex Song or Eboue are playing "If you wanna go" By Freddie McGregor in true spirit of the current circumstances. Or maybe Wenger dedicated "Just Like a prayer" by Madonna to Fabregas........

what's that swoosh sound coming out of North London

Where are my manners. My first blog should have started with me thanking waweru wa mwaura for allowing me to contribute to his site. I guess he was tired of my daily arsenal text rants every morning at 8 am and figured he would be spared them if he let me blog. Wrong... The only thing that will quiet me is if the Emirates delivers glory, and that quiet time will last only as long as it takes me to get over the subsequent hangover...not very long.

You can measure noise in primarily two units of measure; sound power if you use a reverbertory chamber or sound pressure if it is an anechoic chamber. If, let me correct myself, when Cesc's move to Barcelona is announced, the noise that will emanate from North London and the arsenal world over will be immeasurable in either units. We will need a new unit of measure to properly document the event. I propose a new unit of measure named an "arsene".

To allow relative measurement, we will need to estimate the amount of noise that would comprise of an 'arsene' before the cesc move occurs. Failure to do so risks us branding the total noise caused by Cesc's move to Barcelona one sound arsene, thereby guaranteeing any other such event being a fraction of an arsene. We all know its hard enough to count in whole numbers, we don't need fractions.

I am therefore going to suggest that we assign one sound arsene to the total amount of noise that resulted from Terry's slip and penalty miss that cost Chelsea a champions league trophy. That being said, this whole Cesc saga reminds me of presidential candidate Ross Perot's warning to America about ratifying NAFTA. He warned that if the US signed the deal, the accompanying swoosh sound will be the sound of jobs leaving the country. Boy was he right. So monsieur Wenger, when you do accept that check from Camp Nou for our beloved magician, the resulting 3 arsene sound heard will be the entire integrity of Arsenal heading for the hills. We will truly have become Arsenal Financial club, not Football club, just like they taught you in Economics class.

FABulous Rumours

The end of another barren season brings about a very active gossip community that rivals the legendary women and their good ol gossip mongering. Most worrying as has always been,is the rumor that Cesc is going back to the blaugrana. I would really love to see that for dramatic purposes.
Why?
Probably AW will be forced to go on a shopping spree that would bring in more options and then.................................somebody see where am headed? Continue that line of thought.

On the Other Hand.........Jay-Z feat Mr Hudson- Forever Young.....should be Arsenal's Theme but watch out could degenerate to Forever Almost winning a TROPHY.

Burn Down the Emirates.... move back to Highbury, and bring back 'the Dein'

Arsene Wenger's imagination and ideas, and David Dein's reality clout to make them happen were the ideal partnership. After all it was Dein that brought him to Highbury from..... Yeah! that one.
Dein's contacts in the football world is not be underestimated, and that is where Gazidis is at major disadvantage. I reckon a lot of players that Arsene failed to get in the past years would have stood a better chance had Dein been on board. But we'll never know.

Dein had been the director of Arsenal from 1983 until he was forced off the board almost 3 years ago, ironically enough, it was mainly due to his dealings with Stan Kroenke, who he introduced to the club and helped broker the sale of 9.9% of the ITV shares in the club that the American thus purchased. When the club decided they wanted a new stadium, Dein adviced them that a sugar daddy was needed too. Someone with billions of dollars to invest in the club to keep them competitive throughout the transition phase. This is when he was quickly hurried off the round table.

If Wenger would just come out and say that the club does not have any money, and we will always, or atleast in the next six to ten years, be a selling club. I think a lot of fans would respect him more.

Arsene Wenger is over 60. I have proof

From the moment it became clear to me that Wenger's replacement for Henry was Adebayor, I smelt the coffee despite a full blown sinus infection while standing in a mortuary with no refrigeration. I held out calling foul and for the first months of that 2007 campaign, I like many arsenal fans worldwide was pouring champaign as Arsenal danced their way to the top of EPL. But Adebayor was steadily breaking the offside record and at the same time clearly being very wasteful in front of goal. I quickly realized my suspicions that Adebayor is no Henry and the quality of service at Arsenal was worthy of a more clinical finisher. With a chance to go 6 points clear the top of the league at St. Andrew's, the break and subsequent collapse materialize. Gallas the only one to notice the significance of the moment stages his memorable sit down and reflect at center pitch act. For Wenger, the moment passes him like spoilt french toast. Instead his post match interview starts with that dreaded word, the word that promises glory when the team has failed to secure it on the pitch. That word, "mathematically..." is uttered.
Worse still he chastises the captain's breakdown at St. Andrew's, the man who had only scored the equalizer against Man-u, the only goal against chelsea, that crucial goal before half time against Bolton, the go ahead at wigan, in other words the man who knew a little bit about crucial moments. Coffee please.
For the remainder of the campaign, Wenger insists that Arsenal had a chance to win the league when clearly it was all but over on February 13th at St. Andrew's. Arsenal go trophyless for the 3rd year in a row and enter a summer where we lose Hleb & Flamini and Adebayor announces his love affair for both AC Milan and Beyonce. In exchange Wenger signs Nasri, Ramsey, bischoff, no striker, and snatches Silvestre from the Man City medical table. Coffee please, classic roast, silly investment sighted.
Two summers in a row without re-investment in the team quickly shows in the 2008 campaign as arsenal earns 4 loses in the league before December 2008. By January transfer window, Arsene is the only man left in the arsenal world that does not see a need to sign a new player even with cesc injured. More shaky performances in January force Wenger's hand but he waits untill the midnight hour to force the Arsharvin move, a move only made possible after the little Russian pays back Zenit his bonus from his own pocket. Are you kidding me? Coffee, 85 degrees, no cream.
By now we have been seasoned to the 70th minute substitution every game regardless of the needs on the pitch. But wenger had more in stock and it all welled up at the FA semi final versus chelsea at wembley where wenger picked a team that did not feature Arsharvin. This was in the absence of Cesc and with Arshavin cuptied in Europe. Of course Drogba did his business, and fabianski gave us a preview of his soon to be 2009 form. In a meaningless midweek league game against Liverpool, Wenger fields the team that should have played the FA semi final. That game yields the famous yell, "Arshavinnnnnn...Four" , but we all know that Benayoun had the last say that evening in another coffee waiter, extra caffeine moment for me.
No trophy 4th season in a row, Wenger dives into summer pool and emerges with Vermaelen but as the window closes, we watch Kolo Toure and Adebayor exit with no replacement. RVP goes down and I am left feeling that if there was a credit swap product to hedge our losses in case of an RVP injury, I would buy it. Wenger on the other hand despite being the educated economist has no back up plan for RVP and has never had one for Cesc. Now I want my coffee to confuse more and more with redbull.
As I type, the maestro of the Gunner team, Gunner philosophy and flair is closer to abandoning his mentor to go back to his boyhood barcelona team. He is tired of the experiment, tired of wasting his threaded passes to misfiring players, tired of working for goals only to be nullified by a goal keeping crew that everyone but Wenger knows is not good enough. He watches Pedro, maxwell, bojan, messi win trophies while wenger is still holding the wrench and tweaking an engine that is out of any adjustable margin. Let's face it, Chamakh is coming to arsenal because its a free transfer and not because he is the talent worthy of Cesc's assists. How do I know Wenger is over 60? Cesc woke up, walked up to him, faced him and said please let me go. That's how I know.