Arsene Wenger is over 60. I have proof

From the moment it became clear to me that Wenger's replacement for Henry was Adebayor, I smelt the coffee despite a full blown sinus infection while standing in a mortuary with no refrigeration. I held out calling foul and for the first months of that 2007 campaign, I like many arsenal fans worldwide was pouring champaign as Arsenal danced their way to the top of EPL. But Adebayor was steadily breaking the offside record and at the same time clearly being very wasteful in front of goal. I quickly realized my suspicions that Adebayor is no Henry and the quality of service at Arsenal was worthy of a more clinical finisher. With a chance to go 6 points clear the top of the league at St. Andrew's, the break and subsequent collapse materialize. Gallas the only one to notice the significance of the moment stages his memorable sit down and reflect at center pitch act. For Wenger, the moment passes him like spoilt french toast. Instead his post match interview starts with that dreaded word, the word that promises glory when the team has failed to secure it on the pitch. That word, "mathematically..." is uttered.
Worse still he chastises the captain's breakdown at St. Andrew's, the man who had only scored the equalizer against Man-u, the only goal against chelsea, that crucial goal before half time against Bolton, the go ahead at wigan, in other words the man who knew a little bit about crucial moments. Coffee please.
For the remainder of the campaign, Wenger insists that Arsenal had a chance to win the league when clearly it was all but over on February 13th at St. Andrew's. Arsenal go trophyless for the 3rd year in a row and enter a summer where we lose Hleb & Flamini and Adebayor announces his love affair for both AC Milan and Beyonce. In exchange Wenger signs Nasri, Ramsey, bischoff, no striker, and snatches Silvestre from the Man City medical table. Coffee please, classic roast, silly investment sighted.
Two summers in a row without re-investment in the team quickly shows in the 2008 campaign as arsenal earns 4 loses in the league before December 2008. By January transfer window, Arsene is the only man left in the arsenal world that does not see a need to sign a new player even with cesc injured. More shaky performances in January force Wenger's hand but he waits untill the midnight hour to force the Arsharvin move, a move only made possible after the little Russian pays back Zenit his bonus from his own pocket. Are you kidding me? Coffee, 85 degrees, no cream.
By now we have been seasoned to the 70th minute substitution every game regardless of the needs on the pitch. But wenger had more in stock and it all welled up at the FA semi final versus chelsea at wembley where wenger picked a team that did not feature Arsharvin. This was in the absence of Cesc and with Arshavin cuptied in Europe. Of course Drogba did his business, and fabianski gave us a preview of his soon to be 2009 form. In a meaningless midweek league game against Liverpool, Wenger fields the team that should have played the FA semi final. That game yields the famous yell, "Arshavinnnnnn...Four" , but we all know that Benayoun had the last say that evening in another coffee waiter, extra caffeine moment for me.
No trophy 4th season in a row, Wenger dives into summer pool and emerges with Vermaelen but as the window closes, we watch Kolo Toure and Adebayor exit with no replacement. RVP goes down and I am left feeling that if there was a credit swap product to hedge our losses in case of an RVP injury, I would buy it. Wenger on the other hand despite being the educated economist has no back up plan for RVP and has never had one for Cesc. Now I want my coffee to confuse more and more with redbull.
As I type, the maestro of the Gunner team, Gunner philosophy and flair is closer to abandoning his mentor to go back to his boyhood barcelona team. He is tired of the experiment, tired of wasting his threaded passes to misfiring players, tired of working for goals only to be nullified by a goal keeping crew that everyone but Wenger knows is not good enough. He watches Pedro, maxwell, bojan, messi win trophies while wenger is still holding the wrench and tweaking an engine that is out of any adjustable margin. Let's face it, Chamakh is coming to arsenal because its a free transfer and not because he is the talent worthy of Cesc's assists. How do I know Wenger is over 60? Cesc woke up, walked up to him, faced him and said please let me go. That's how I know.